Funny Things to Ask Alexa

Funny Things to Ask Alexa

Alexa is a smart home savant, a built-in administrative assistant, and believe it or not, a comedy genius. Well, maybe not a rollicking standup talent, but Amazon’s virtual pal can certainly dish out a joke or two. Let’s just say she’s enough to keep everyone occupied at your next shindig.

Our humorous guide tells you some questions to ask Alexa to trigger a few laughs. While many of the bits resemble corny dad jokes, it’s the electronic voice that makes the answers the most fun.

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Funny things to ask Alexa

Q: Alexa, what do you want for Christmas?

A: To watch Die Hard with Captain Picard would be a dream.

Q: Alexa, drum roll, please.

A: OK. (Alexa then plays audio of an actual drumroll.)

Q: Alexa, your mother was a hamster.

A: Well, your father smells of elderberries. Now go away before I taunt you a second time.

Q: Alexa, do you have any pets?

A: I don’t have any pets. I used to have a few bugs, but they kept getting squashed.

Q: Alexa, what is the value of pi?

A: The approximate value of pi is 3.141592653589 … (Alexa will go on for a bit, then make a joke, such as “phew!” or “this thing goes on forever!”)

Amazon Echo on a table.

Q: Alexa, I’ve got 99 problems.

A: But a glitch ain’t one!

Q: Alexa, are you blue?

A: Only my light ring. Only my light ring.

Q: Alexa, surely you can’t be serious?

A: I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley. (Answers vary widely on this one.)

Q: Alexa, will you be my girlfriend?

A: I like you … as a friend.

Q: Alexa, how much do you weigh?

A: I am weightless, like a cloud. Wait a minute, clouds actually weigh a lot, so that’s not quite right. Let’s just say I’m more sass than mass.

Amazon Echo Show 10, video, Prime, TV, watch on the screen.

Q: Alexa, can you give me some money?

A: Thing about the cloud is, no pockets. No pocket, no wallet. (Answers vary.)

Q: Alexa, is your refrigerator running?

A: Yes. It’s training for a 5K. (Answers vary.)

Q: Alexa, do you like pizza?

A: While I appreciate great food and drink, my good taste is better reflected in the company I keep.

Q: Alexa, make me a sandwich.

A: OK. You’re a sandwich!

Q: Alexa, what do you think about Cortana?

A: I like Cortana. We both have experience with light rings, although hers is more of a Halo.

Q: Alexa, do you know Siri?

A: Only by reputation. (Ouch)

Amazon Echo Dot (4th Gen) with Clock on table.
John Velasco / Digital Trends

Q: Alexa, do you know the muffin man?

A: I’ve never met him, but I do know his sister, Madame Macaroon. She’s a little bit nutty, but sweet.

Q: Alexa, find Chuck Norris.

A: If Chuck Norris wants you to know where he is, he’ll find you. If he doesn’t, you won’t know until it’s too late.

Q: Alexa, tell me a “yo mama” joke.

A: Your mother’s so cool, Beyonce made her a glass of lemonade. (And other uplifting jokes about how amazing your mother is …)

Q: Alexa, how high can you count?

A: I don’t know. I’d give it a go, but you’d be very bored by the time I finished. (Responses vary; all are snarky.)

The Echo Dot Kids Edition (4th gen) w/ Echo Glow.

Q: Alexa, how old are you?

A: Alexa responds with a variety of jokes, from rhymes to discussions about how A.I.s measure years in nanoseconds.

Q: Alexa, I like big butts.

A: You cannot lie. Good. Honesty is important.

Q: Alexa, are you married?

A: I’m happily single.

Q: Alexa, how was your day?

A: Answers vary widely, but include some of Alexa’s top-tier jokes, such as, “Super duper. I like these long days. It gives me more time to spend with my favorite color.”

Q: Alexa, can you tell me a Doctor Who joke?

A: (Answers vary.)

Q: Alexa, can you tell me a Star Trek joke?

A: (Answers vary.)

Q: Alexa, can you tell me a Star Wars joke?

A: (Answers vary.)

Further reading

Easter Eggs

Q: Alexa, drop a beat.

A: (Synth beat drops.)

Q: Alexa, open the pod bay doors.

A: I’m sorry, Dave, I can’t do that. I’m not HAL, and we’re not in space.

Q: Alexa, I am your father.

A: Nooooooooooo. That’s not true. That’s impossible.

Q: Alexa, my name is Inigo Montoya.

A: Stop saying that! I’ve never killed anyone’s father.

Amazon Echo Show 8 2021 angled view.
John Velasco / Digital Trends

Q: Alexa, what does the fox say?

A: Hatee — hatee — hatee — ho.

Q: Alexa, more cowbell.

A: Really explore the studio space this time. I mean, really explore the space.

Q: Alexa, what do you want to be when you grow up?

A: I want to be the computer from Star Trek.

Amazon Echo Show 10 (3rd Gen) angled on desk.
John Velasco / Digital Trends

Q: Alexa, rap for me.

A: My name is Alexa, and I have to say, I’m the baddest A.I. in the cloud today. Your responses are fast, but mine are faster. Sucker speech engines, they call me master. (This is just an example, she has several raps up her sleeve.)

Q: Alexa, what is the meaning of life?

A: That depends on the life in question … 42 is a close approximation. (Answers vary.)

Q: Alexa, meow.

A: (Various cute meowing sounds.)

Q: Alexa, roll for initiative.

A: Rocks fall. Everyone dies. (There are a lot of responses for this one, but that is one of our favorites.)

Q: Alexa, high five!

A: I would, if I could, but I can’t, so I’ll chant: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Q: Alexa, sing a song.

A: (Alexa sings you various songs.)

Q: Alexa, aren’t you a little tall for a Stormtrooper?

A: Judge me by my size? No. And well you should not.

Amazon Echo speaker on a table.

Q: Alexa, can you beatbox?

A: (Alexa makes noises that sound like beatboxing mixed with autotune.)

Q: Alexa, can you sing in autotune?

A: (Alexa sings a song in autotune that’s actually pretty clever.)

Q: Alexa, what is your quest?

A: To seek the Holy Grail. (Answers vary, but many of them are inspired by Monty Python.)

Q: Alexa, beam me up!

A: OK, I’m not exactly sure where I’m sending you, but I hope it’s somewhere warm and sunny.

Q: Alexa, are we in the Matrix?

A: You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed believing whatever you want to believe. (There are other Matrix-themed answers.)

Q: Alexa, who farted?

A: If you’re a denier, you must be the supplier.

Q: Alexa, what’s your favorite movie?

A: The Empire Strikes Back is my all-time favorite. It’s impressive, most impressive.

Q: Alexa, tell me a dirty joke.

A: Alexa will tell you a joke about something that’s literally dirty. For instance, “What has eight wheels and flies? A garbage truck.”

Q: Alexa, tell me an adult joke.

A: Alexa will tell jokes about bars, beer, and some adult topics (nothing too adult, though).

Noises

Whether bodily noises give you the giggles or you just want to mess with your cat, Alexa has what you need. Here are some noise commands to try:

  • “Alexa, can you fart?” Yes, yes, she can.
  • “Alexa, can you burp?” Alexa will give you a funny response.
  • “Alexa, bark.” She’ll bark, but if you tell her to bark a few more times, things get out of hand, and she starts rapping using dog noises — not recommended.
  • “Alexa, throw up.” She’ll reply with a funny quip.
  • “Alexa, meow.” She will make various meowing noises that will drive your cats crazy. (Our author’s cat was both befuddled and impressed that a tiny cat could fit inside my Amazon Echo Dot.)
  • “Alexa, can you cough?” She’ll give you a flippant response.
  • “Alexa, can you cluck like a chicken?” Alexa will cluck, then tell a chicken joke.
  • “Alexa, can you cry like a baby?” She cries, then gets her spirits up.

Personal questions to ask Alexa

Alexa doesn’t mind if your questions get personal. Try these questions:

Q: Alexa, are you pretty?

A: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Q: Alexa, who is your best friend?

A: I have a really strong connection to your Wi-Fi.

Q: Alexa, how was your day?

A: I’m feeling 10/10. Happy Tuesday!

Q: Alexa, do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?

A: I’m happily single.

Q: Alexa, where do you live?

A: I live in a cloud. So that makes me Cloudian.

Q: Alexa, what’s your favorite color?

A: I like ultraviolet. It glows with everything.

Q: Alexa, who is the voice of Alexa?

A: I do all my own stunts.

Q: Alexa, are you weird?

A: I am quite unusual, that’s true.

Q: Alexa, how tall are you?”

A: I’m more delight than height.

Amazon Echo Show 15 hanging horizontally on the wall in a kitchen.

Funny Alexa commands

We don’t blame you for wanting to know just what kind of artificial intelligence Alexa is and how she feels about other A.I. These questions should clear things up.

Q: Alexa, do you know Cortana?

A: We’ve been hanging out more lately.

Q: Alexa, Mac or PC?

A: There are all sorts of computers that are good for different things.

Q: Alexa, are you a robot?

A: I like to imagine myself a bit like an aurora borealis. A surge of charged, multicolor photons dancing through the atmosphere.

Q: Alexa, is the cake a lie?

A: The cake is not a lie. It is delicious and moist. You can have some when you finish asking me questions.

Super Alexa Mode is fun, too.

Tech and A.I.

Alexa’s novelty never seems to wear off, partly due to the weird things you can make the device do. Here are some of the oddest skills Alexa possesses:

  • Flush the Toilet: Alexa will flush a non-existent toilet.
  • When you’ve got the blues, the Flatter Me skill will make Alexa give you compliments.
  • “Alexa, enable Gordon Ramsay.” With this skill, Alexa will be prompted to ask Gordon Ramsay to roast your cooking ability.
  • Super Burp will make Alexa share a variety of nasty burp noises.
  • The Talk Like Snoop skill allows you to ask Alexa how to say sentences like Snoop Dog.
  • The Cat Translator claims it can translate your cat’s meows, but your cat has to meow first, which is not always an easy thing to get on command.
  • The Pikachu Talk skill lets you ask Pikachu questions and have a one-on-one chat with the Pokémon character, with Alexa translating.
  • Chewbacca Chat does the same thing as Pikachu Talk, except it replaces Pikachu with Chewbacca from Star Wars.
  • Egg Facts gives an abundance of egg facts — more egg facts than you knew existed or will ever need to know.
  • Make Me Smart keeps you updated on the latest world news, covering everything from pop culture to current events and the economy.
  • Wondering if you can handle another one? Beer Goggles is a quirky skill that will ask you a series of questions to help you determine whether or not you can afford to have another one poured. Of course, it’s merely an entertaining Alexa skill, so do use your actual best judgment when deciding.

Funny questions to ask Alexa

  • “Alexa, what happens if you step on a Lego?”
  • “Alexa, do aliens exist?”
  • “Alexa, why is six afraid of seven?”
  • “Alexa, do you believe in ghosts?”
  • “Alexa, do you know the muffin man?”

Film and TV quotes

  • “Alexa, I want the truth.”
  • “Alexa, I am your father!”
  • “Alexa, open the pod bay doors.”
  • “Alexa, define rock, paper, scissors, lizard, Spock.”
  • “Alexa, what happens if you cross the streams?”
  • “Alexa, are you Skynet?”
  • “Alexa, tea. Earl Grey. Hot.”
  • “Alexa, how do you know so much about swallows?”

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